I’d Bark But You Never Listen
An Illustrated Guide to the Jewish Dog
Written and illustrated by Harold Kimmel
From a top Hollywood humor writer, comes this edgy collection of illustrated jokes revealing the innermost thoughts of independent-minded dogs. What marks the breed is not necessarily a Jewish owner, but a quirky mindset—given both to philosophical debate and picky pragmatism, not to mention personal pride: "I’d fetch but it’s embarrassing."
The Jewish greyhound, foxhound, poodle or chosen mutt always has an excellent and very funny reason for leading his or her distinguished version of a dog’s life. This book comes with endorsements from notable comedians and their pets
A dog goes to obedience school. A Jewish dog goes to The Milton and Fern Krumholtz building at the Norman and Becky Guttstein Campus of The Lenny and Shirley Zugman Educational Center. In loving memory of Pearl Schwartz. An Inspiration to us all.
A Jewish dog will always bury the bone the next day. The stone goes up within a year.
By Kate Parker
This hilarious treasury celebrates an age of innocence (or idiocy) when advertisers could tell us any old thing. These ads present the possibly true but strangely presented: a gal combing her sleeping guy’s trousers in search of war-bond dollars, a wife in love with cutlery. Unhealthy claims include soda pop promoted as a baby drink, and bone-crushing corsets urged for little girls. Among other dubious propositions are the chin-reducing head cage and “bile beans” as the key to physical fitness. Outrageous Ads reminds us not to believe everything we’re told or sold.
From Outrageous Ads:
Wisdom & Wack for the Graduate
Illustrations by Neil Shapiro
FINALIST FOR FOREWORD MAGAZINE’S BEST HUMOR BOOK
Each commencement season has its pearls of wit and weirdness. Here, in handy hard-cover form, are true gems of guidance for the new graduate.
Neil Shapiro’s brilliant and hilarious illustrations guarantee that the new high school or college grad will absolutely take notice—and thank the book giver for this wickedly, wonderful gift.
From Wisdom & Wack:
|"Wear comfortable shoes. You never know when you may have to run for your life."|
Scriptwriter, Thelma & Louise
Sweet Briar College,
|"There's no guarantee you will ever again spend each day surrounded by so many intelligent people."
—Samuel L. Jackson
|"Everyone has a weird roommate. If you don't have a weird roommate, then you're the weird roommate."|
Stuyvesant High School,
SLOTH: Ode to Disarray & Delay
by Dale Burg
"If God had intended me to bend over, He'd have put diamonds on the floor" - Joan Rivers
Humor writer Dale Burg's narrative is great fun. Spinning off the Chaos Theory of universal evolution, she "scientifically proves" that we're meant to relax and let life take its course. Includes such goodies as The Sloth Style Guide, illustrated by the little-known Picasso costume-series watercolors.
SLOTH: Ode to Disarray & Delay will reform absolutely no one, except those capable of having a good laugh at the rat race. It's the perfect present for overachievers who secretly yearn to relax.
GLUTTONY: More is More
By Nan Lyons
From the author of the best-selling Someone is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe, comes this high-spirited tour de force of food history and dining extravagance, accompanied by glorious dining art from the world over.
Table of Contents
|Ch. 1:||Separation of Church and Fate|
|Ch. 2:||Fabulous Feasts|
|Ch. 3:||Haute Bloat|
|Ch. 4:||Bacchus to the Future|
|Ch. 5:||Custard's Last Stand|
|Ch. 6:||Food Fetishes from Rome to Nome|
|Ch. 7:||A Quiche in the Dark|
|Ch. 8:||Cinema Gastronomique|
|Ch. 9:||Toques Off to Dreamers|
Excerpts from GLUTTONY:
"The prospect of an irresistible dessert made it possible to eat the meat that had been hanging around the larder long enough to apply for Social Security."
"The voluptuous quality of chocolate, with its satiny, melt in the mouth enticement, might be the closest thing to making love that a lonelyheart has on a cold winter's night. Now, doesn't that make those calories worth it?"
Never Kiss a Frog
A Girl's Guide to Creatures from the Dating Swamp
By Marilyn Anderson
Single women can’t afford to believe in fairy tales. Frogs don’t turn into princes—men don’t change—no matter how tenderly they’re handled. Some are adept at hiding their reptilian views while others seem oblivious to their inner slime. Even an astute, Sex-and-The-City type of gal can be fooled. That’s why every lady hoping for a princely mate needs Never Kiss a Frog.
Marilyn Anderson’s zippy, illustrated guide reveals frogs and toads in their many guises. The author hilariously plumbs the romantic misadventures of herself and her friends for the early (but overlooked) signs that a plausible Mr. Right is Mr. Wrong. Armed with Never Kiss a Frog, a gal can tell who should be tossed back into the pond and who might be a keeper.
Ms. Anderson, who has written for several TV sitcoms, including Murphy Brown and FAME, has also been a stand-up comedienne at New York clubs. She lives in Los Angeles.
Meet . . . .
Any guy who drains the life out of you--sucks.
Meet . . . .
We get a table. I order chicken cacciatore. He orders broken leg of lamb. That should've been my first clue. But I'm too gaga to notice.
If he's a wiseguy, be a wise girl--Frogeddaboudit!
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